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Be Kind to Sinners Because You Were a Sinner

Titus 3:1-3 Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed, 2 to malign no one, to be uncontentious, gentle, showing every consideration for all men. 3 For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.

 

INTRODUCTION

One time, many years ago, I was sitting in my parent’s living room with some friends when one of the girls jumped up and screamed at the sight of a “mouse”. I hunted that thing down and killed it. It turns out that it wasn’t a mouse (it was my sister’s hamster), but my belief that there was a damsel in distress caused me to leap up and take decisive (even if ignorant) action.

Several years later, I had stayed up late studying for an econ. exam. My class went from 8-10am the next morning so I set my alarm for 7:30. Apparently, I woke up enough at 7:30 to turn my alarm off, but not enough for it to register that the alarm indicated the need to stay awake. At 9am I woke up again and immediately panicked. I shot out of bed, hopped on my bike, and raced off to take the exam; no breakfast, no shower, no grooming, only action. I believed that I would fail the exam if I didn’t act immediately and so I did.

A while after that, I was sitting in my new office as a new youth pastor and my phone rang. I had recently applied for life insurance (because that’s what responsible, newly married men do, I reasoned) and the caller ID indicated that it was the insurance company calling. I answered the phone and was clinically told that I had been rejected. My brain didn’t take too long to process the fact that rejecting a healthy 20-something for life insurance probably wasn’t something insurance companies did. Believing this meant that I had some type of unknown, but serious condition I sprang into action, doing my best to figure out why I’d been denied coverage.

I could go on, but you get the point (one which I’ve made several times already while preaching through Titus). There are times when knowledge compels us into action. That is, there are times when the nature of knowing something necessitates that we act on it. There is a mouse on the loose, I’m an hour late for a two hour exam, I’m dying, there’s an active shooter in the church, the building is on fire, one of your friends was just in a serious car accident, there are complications with your wife’s pregnancy, your favorite toy is broken, etc. We would probably all agree that to truly know any of these things means (necessarily) acting on them.

Paul’s primary message to Titus is that the people of God have knowledge of something so significant that it not only requires a significant response, but it requires a constant, continual, significant response. If we understand it, we will never stop responding and if we stop responding, we never really understood it.

Q: Knowledge of what? A: The events described in the paragraph immediately preceding (and, as we’ll see next week, following) our passage for this morning (2:11-14).

Titus 2:11-14 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, 12 instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, 13 looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus; 14 who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.

In other words, we have knowledge that the grace of God appeared in the person of Jesus Christ who gave himself up for us in order to redeem us and save us and give us hope and show us holiness and make us holy and make us his own, all so that we would glorify our great God and Savior.

Again, one of the main points of Titus as a whole, and certainly of our passage for this morning is, in large measure, to describe the type of responses that make sense and honor God in light of this knowledge. Therefore, this passage is really good news for all who long to do God’s will because it makes his will so plain.

Let’s pray that by the power of the Holy Spirit, God would be pleased to grant us understanding of the gospel such that by the power of the Holy Spirit, applying the things from our passage for this morning would be far more obvious as killing an invading mouse or running to make an exam you’re really late for or tracking down the reason for your imminent death.

 

The gospel in effect

In light of the appearing of the grace of God and all that it accomplished (and is still accomplishing), Titus was to remind God’s people to do certain things. Note that he was to remind them (not teach them for the first time). There are probably two senses in which Titus was to remind them. First, and most obviously, he was to remind them by retelling them things he (or Paul or someone else) had already told them.

The second sense in which Titus was to remind the Church about these things, though, is that he was to tell them these things which, as I mentioned in the introduction, obviously flow out of the gospel. In this sense, then, Titus was to remind them in that he was to say, “do these things…things you don’t even need to be taught to do because they’re so clearly and essentially connected to the work of Jesus.” I wouldn’t need to tell you to run out of a house that’s burning and I wouldn’t need to tell you to duck when someone tries to punch you. Likewise, I don’t need to teach you these things, I simply need to remind you of what you intrinsically know.

So, then, what things is Titus to remind the church of? Let’s look again at Titus 3:1-3.

Be submissive to rulers and authorities

In light of where we are in our election cycle, and in light of the (somewhat) unprecedented political decisions we’re going to have to make, I’m going to come back to this and give at least one whole sermon on this command in a couple of weeks. This mourning, though, I simply want you to see that because of the gospel “every person [is to] be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God” (Romans 13:1).

This reminder still stands for us today, Grace. The gospel demands that our default disposition be one of submission to the rulers and authorities in our lives.

Be obedient

Similarly, the second thing Titus is to remind the church of (in light of the grace of God appearing) is to be obedient in general. Indeed, one effect of the gospel is to make Christians predisposed to submit themselves to every authority assigned by God, as an expression of our trusting submission to God, our ultimate authority.

Parent’s let me say something here. You need to help your kids learn to be obedient right away (doing what you say, when you say it, and with a respectful attitude). Kids who have never learned to obey their parents in this way will have a much harder time learning to obey their teachers, bosses, husbands, and most importantly, God.

In our culture, it’s far more common to make suggestions to kids and require partial, delayed obedience. This is not what God requires of us and so it is not what we should expect from our kids. The command is plain, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1).

Of course in other cultures and in previous generations, the tendency is to force strict and immediate obedience apart from any warmth or love or kindness. This too misses the mark.

Both of these extremes target something other than the child’s heart for Christ (typically the parent’s comfort). It is God’s love as our Father that primarily induces our obedience as Christians and, therefore, it must be love that primarily induces our kids to obey us as well.

Therefore, parents, expect from your kids what God expects you to expect from them (obedience) and train them in this with the same heart that God has for your obedience (love).

More than just parents and kids, though, Paul charges Titus to remind the church as a whole to be a people of obedience to God and to his representatives.

Be ready for every good work

In 1:8 elders are charged to love good. In 2:3 older women are charged to teach that which is good. In 2:7 Titus is charged to be an example of good works. In 2:14 we’re told that Jesus died to save a people and make them zealous for good works. And in 3:14 the Church is charged to devote themselves to good works.

Clearly, loving doing good works is an essential aspect of what it means to be a Christian.

But how many times do you think an opportunity to do a good work passes you by in a given day? A chance to bring a meal to someone who’s sick, a chance to listen to someone who is suffering, a chance to visit someone who is lonely, a chance to help someone with a flat tire, a chance to share the gospel with someone who’s spiritually curious, a chance to babysit for a couple so they can go on a date, a chance to give a ride to someone who’s stranded, a chance to…

I’m guessing that most of you are like me in that it’s not that you don’t want to do good works (although sometimes I’m selfish enough not to want to), it’s just that you’re stuck in your own head. You miss the opportunities that are there because you’re not ready.

For some reason, over a decade later, one particular failure to be ready to do a good work still bothers me. I was at the stop light on the 65 exit ramp off of 694. The guy in front of me had a truck bed full of drywall. Because he had his tailgate down and because he hit the gas a bit too hard when the light turned green, all of the drywall slid right out of his truck and onto the street. Because I wasn’t ready, I drove around him and kept going. Again, I wasn’t trying to avoid doing a good work, but I wasn’t ready for it and so I missed it.

On the other end, a women in our DG told us all a story of how she recently noticed a wandering teenager in a store and, because she was ready for good works, stopped to check in with her, talk with her, and eventually meet with her to share the gospel. She was ready and God opened a door for the gospel through her readiness.

We ought to pray constantly for opportunities to put on display the kindness that God has shown us. We ought to go to the store with the mindset of doing good. We ought to come to church premeditatedly thinking of ways to do good. We ought to go to work on Monday consciously aware of the fact that countless opportunities will present themselves if we’re ready.

Paul charges Titus to remind the church to be ready, to constantly be on the lookout, for opportunities to do good works because good works show the reality of Christ in us and the goodness of God toward those who would trust in him.

Speak evil of no one

Next, Paul tells Titus to remind the church not to be slanders, evil-speakers.

Of course this doesn’t mean that we never address sin in people’s lives, but it does mean that our focus is not to be on thinking about or sharing the shortcomings and sins of others. That is unhelpful to them and decaying to our own souls. Our souls rot when we think and speak mainly with a critical, negative, dwelling-on-evil spirit.

Instead, we ought to spend most of our time thinking and speaking about “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable,…excellent, … and …worthy of praise” (Philippians 4:8),

As a general rule, because of the gospel, because of what Christ has done for us, when we speak of others it ought not be about the evil things in their lives, but the good and right and beautiful things. Again, the gospel frees us from focusing on evil and for focusing on good…indeed, rightly understood, it compels us to do so.

Avoid quarreling

By definition, quarrelling means being contentious, bickering, looking for conflict. That is, quarreling is about seeking out the opportunity to disagree with or win an argument against someone. It is not about building others up or lovingly contending for things that really matter.

Rather than an opportunity for quarreling, the gospel helps us to see that a disagreement is really an opportunity to show grace and humility and service and love. Where we find ourselves in a disagreement of preferences, rather than an occasion for quarreling, we’ve found an awesome opportunity to lay our preferences down for those of another and serve them like God serves us. Where we find ourselves in a disagreement over matters of conscience, rather than an occasion for quarreling, we’ve found an awesome opportunity to put Romans 14 into practice and graciously preserve another’s pricked conscience. And where we find ourselves in a disagreement of principle, rather than an occasion for quarreling, we’ve found an awesome opportunity to love another by humbly working through Scripture with them in the hopes that we might both learn and grow in understanding.

As even this letter makes plain (1:10-16), there are things worth fighting for—indeed, things we must fight for—but there is never anything worth quarreling over. That’s the effect of the gospel.

I can honestly say that never in my entire life have I been more aware of the ungodly nature of quarreling. God has used events in me and around me to show me how absolutely foolish it is to quarrel. I’ve never more clearly seen the simple fact that any and every time my aim is to “win” a discussion, I’ve already left truth and love and tanked the whole thing. I’ve probably known that principle for some time, but it wasn’t until relatively recently that I’ve experienced the depth of the destructive power of quarreling and the height of the healing power of caring more about people than arguments (of being gentle as well see in one second). Which leads to the next point of reminder.

Be gentle

In many ways, this is a positive version of the previous statement. The opposite of being quarrelsome is being gentle. Rather than bickering for personal gain, we are to be gentle for the sake of the gospel and the good of our neighbor.

Again, simply, where being quarrelsome means being harsh and contentious, being gentle means being peaceable and gracious. The goal of the quarreler is winning the fight, the goal of the gentler is winning the soul with the love of the gospel. And again, this is the effect of the gospel on the people of God.

Show courtesy toward all people

Finally, Paul offers this summary statement to Titus, “show courtesy to all people”. One commentator (Knight. NIGTC, 334) notes that “it may be best understood by its contrast to its opposites, roughness, bad temper, sudden anger, and brusqueness.” Rather than showing these things Christians are to show “gentleness, humility, courtesy, considerateness, [and] meekness.”

One note that the ESV leaves out is the fact that Paul uses the word translated “all” (pas) not once, but twice. More literally, then, it would read, “Show all courtesy toward all people”.

Paul says, Titus, remind Christians that this is how Christians are to treat people. And do not miss the fact that this is how Christians are to treat all people at all times, not just the ones who show courtesy to us and when we feel like it.

There are the seven gospel responses listed by Paul. That is, we’ve just looked at seven things Paul tells Titus to remind the church to do in response to the person and work of Jesus. Grace, these must be our responses as well. We must work these things out in us with fear and trembling. We must make war against our flesh, even as our flesh fights against our desire for them. If Christ has really saved us we will find these things increasingly flowing out of us; that ‘s the promise of the gospel.

 

One Reason for these Effects

Before wrapping up by looking at v.3, in which Paul gives one reason for the need for Christians to do these things, we need to feel something; really feel something.   We need to feel the fact that this isn’t easy. We need to feel the fact that this usually goes against our natural inclinations. Even among your friends, how many of you consistently find joy in doing all seven of these things? Before we will ever appreciate what comes next (in v.3 and then again in 4-7) we need to feel the difficulty of doing these things. We need to feel how much of a challenge doing them joyfully and consistently can be, even when we commit ourselves to them.

Take comfort, Grace, in the fact that the bible is exceptionally realistic. Paul isn’t speaking about doing these things in a vacuum, where everyone is nice and appreciative. Titus’s church was to do these things even with the insubordinate, empty talkers, and deceivers who were infiltrating their church. You are I are meant to act in these ways toward our brothers and sisters even when they just stole our favorite toy. We’re to act in these ways even when our coworker just lied to the boss about us. We’re to act in these ways even when our spouse just acted altogether selfishly towards us. We’re to act these ways even when non-Christians threaten us. We’re to act in these ways even when our government increasingly distances itself from the will of God.

Even if all of this sounds neat and tidy and even possibly doable when we consider treating nice people like this, we know that it’s challenging on an entirely different level when we consider acting in these ways toward people who won’t reciprocate, who will take advantage of our kindness, who are…jerks. It’s easy to see why God would want us to treat other Christians like this when they’re acting Christianly, but why would he want us to treat jerks like this too?

Again, let me be clear, Titus’s church (and ours) was to do these things because, ultimately, they are inextricably tied to the coming and saving work of Jesus. That’s the main reason God’s people are to do these things. But there are other, subsequent reasons as well. And as I said, Paul lists one in v.3.

A secondary reason for the rightness of these things is that we ought to treat jerks kindly because God treated us kindly when we were jerks. To know the grace of God is to know that we don’t deserve the grace of God. If you think you deserve the cross, you have not been saved by it. It is only when we recognize that we deserve wrath, not mercy that the cross can have any effect on us. And when we recognize (because of the regenerating work of the Spirit) that we, along with the whole world, deserve wrath, but get grace, the most obvious thing in the world is that we need to give grace to others who deserve wrath. That’s Paul’s point in v.3.

Grace, let this be plain to us all: because of the gospel, we are not to treat people as we think they deserve to be treated. We are not to treat nice people nicely and jerky people jerkily. We are not to treat our friends friendly and our enemies harshly. We are not to love those who are easy to love and keep our distance from those who are more difficult. Why not? Because (as we’ll see even more clearly next week) the gospel tells us that even when we were all wicked and sinful and enemies and unlovely, God treated us kindly in Jesus. Again, that’s what Paul means by:

Titus 3:3 For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.

Treat those who are fools and disobedient and deceitful and lustful and hedonistic and malicious and envious and hateful kindly, because you were once foolish and disobedient and deceitful and lustful and hedonistic and malicious and envious. It’s always easier to be kind to people when we realize that at worst they are where we were.

These Gospel effects, as we saw in 2:11-14 and as we’ll see again next week in 3:4-7, are tightly sandwiched between two different explanations of the gospel . Treat others, not as they deserve to be treated, but as God treats you in Christ. Let the gospel determine how you interact with the people around you, not how you feel about them or their personalities or choices.

Remember, Grace, if God treated all sinners like they deserve, we’d all be in hell, now!

Titus 3:4-7 But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

 

conclusion

The gospel, truly believed, compels action. Let us allow God’s Word to instruct us on the right actions and be swift to obey. Amen.