Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴ and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

 

Introduction

If you’re just joining us, we’re on our third of three sermons on Titus 2:3-5. I began these sermons with the conviction that if we are to truly understand the particular application of women’s ministry described in this passage, we must first understand God’s good and unique design of women and the bible’s overall teaching on women’s ministry in principle.

In the first sermon, then, I began to lay the groundwork for understanding Titus 2:3-5. I did so by drawing our attention to the Bible’s teaching concerning God’s good design for men as men and women as women. My aim was to help us to see that although men and women are both created in the image of God, equal in honor and value and worth, in some areas we bear God’s image differently as men and women.

And in last week’s sermon my aim was to help us see women’s ministry in principle. To this end, there were two key points I tried to show from the Scriptures. First, I offered a definition of women’s ministry. Second, I described six biblical boundaries of women’s ministry.

The definition I offered was: Women’s ministry is the branch of the Church’s larger tree of ministry. The larger tree of Christian ministry is one of making disciples of Jesus because of our love for God and people. Women’s ministry, then, is the branch of Christian ministry which focuses on the unique aspects of feminine discipleship and on the unique disciple-making roles assigned to women by God.

And the biblical boundaries I offered were: (1) God’s Word is the standard for all things (including women’s ministry), (2) God’s glory is the goal of all things (including women’s ministry), (3) ministry (including women’s ministry) is the process of making disciples because of our love for God and people, (4) God has assigned certain aspects of women’s ministry to certain people, (5) the local church is the primary context in which ministry (including women’s ministry) is meant to take place, and (6) the gospel is the foundation, fuel, and fruit of all ministry (including women’s ministry). What’s more, in this sermon I emphasized the fact that it is inside these boundaries that the protection and freedom of God cause women to flourish in Christ.

With all of that, we’re left asking what women’s ministries do. What does life and ministry look like inside these boundaries? What types of things is the Church to do to help women to grow in following Jesus in the ways that are unique to them as women? And how will we, as the people of God, help the women of Grace embrace the unique roles given to them by God to help other women grow in Christ?

These are among the questions Paul meant to answer in our passage. In it, we’re given a glimpse of one snapshot of women’s ministry in practice. Let’s pray, then, that God would grant all of us a love for, joy in, and commitment to women’s ministry inside the good boundaries of God. And let’s pray that God would grant us swift understanding and application of this passage for the glory of God and the good of the women of Grace.

 

Older women

In these few verses, Paul gives instructions to Titus concerning commands that Titus is to give to the church in general, concerning older women in particular. As with Paul’s instructions concerning “older men,” his words here to “older women” are primarily directed to those in the empty nest stage and beyond. In one sense, of course, every woman is an “older woman” to some other woman, and there is a sense in which it’s good for a 27 year old woman to impart her wisdom on a 24 year old woman. However, that’s not ultimately what Paul has in mind here. Again, rather, he has in mind those women who have experienced most of life’s stages; who have been young and single and married and with kids and without kids again and seen death and hardship and are well past the fleeting desires of youth and have remained faithful to God through it all. It is to these women that these instructions particularly apply.

You’ll notice that in this passage Paul gives two categories of instructions to the older women among the people of God, and one reason for these instructions. The first category of instructions is directed at how the older women are to conduct themselves. The second category is directed at how the older women are to minister to the younger women of the church. And the reason for these instructions, which we see at the end of v.5 and will look at more thoroughly at the end of this sermon, is “that the word of God may not be reviled.” Let’s look at each category and reason in turn, then.

 

How Older Women Are to Conduct Themselves: Reverently

Before giving a particular charge to the older women concerning how they are to minister to the younger women (inside of the joyful, protective, freeing boundaries of women’s ministry), Paul addresses some areas of (probably) neglected righteousness on the part of the older women. That is, Paul speaks first of some general ministry (this is why he uses the word “likewise” at the beginning of v.3—just like men are to pursue the kind of Christlikeness that is common to all followers of Christ, likewise, older women are to as well) that needs to happen among the older women of the church (inside the joyful, protective, freeing boundaries of the Church’s larger ministry).

In v.3 Paul lists one general way in which the older women are to pursue holiness and two specific applications of it. The general charge to older women here is that they would be reverent in behavior. This means (as Knight puts it, 306) that older women are to, as a matter of Christian character, “carry into daily life the demeanor of priestesses in a temple…since they belong to God by faith in Jesus Christ”. That is, older women, you are to be especially aware of and controlled by the knowledge of the holiness of God. Your life is meant to be lived humbled by the majesty and power and sinlessness and glory of God. You are not to be flippant or casual but earnest and reverant. (The parallel is in 1 Timothy 2:9-10.)

Paul then describes two particular ways in which the older women were being irreverent (or at least two ways in which Paul felt the older women were particularly vulnerable to irreverence). They were, evidently, speaking slanderously and had become slaves to much wine.

To speak slanderously is to make an “accusation maliciously uttered, with the purpose or effect of damaging the reputation of another. As a rule it is a false charge; but it may be a truth circulated insidiously and with a hostile purpose” (ISBE Bible Dictionary). In other words, older women, Paul has charged you to be reverent in your behavior, in no small part, by avoiding speaking in ways that corrupt or tear down others. Do not be grumblers or complainers (which is easier to do as you get older because stuff hurts more and you’re able to see the unwise decisions of others easier and you’ve become more set in your ways). Don’t give in to the temptation to speak negatively about God’s people or God’s Church.

Instead of speaking slanderously, older women (along with all of the people of God) are to speak “…only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29). Older women, the aim and effect of all of your speech ought to be to build others up and give them grace. Even when you need to confront someone in their sin or lack of wisdom, then, you are to make sure your tone, demeanor, and purpose are loving and good.

Again, the second specific way in which Paul commands Titus to warn (rebuke?) older women away from irreverance is in the way of consuming too much wine, or being “slaves to too much wine.” This means, as you might imagine, that older women are (as are all of God’s people) to avoid falling into bondage to wine. They are to avoid being be controlled by wine. Paul instructs the older women not to get drunk on wine occasionally or regularly. This type of behavior is inconsistent with communion with Christ and makes Paul’s next charge to older women impossible.

Rather than be slaves to much wine, the older women are to live lives of righteousness, consistent with their faith in Christ, and, as we’ll see in just one minute, they are also to teach what is righteous—with their words and actions. That is, older women in particular are charged here to find their satisfaction and help and peace in Christ alone.

In short, the charge is for older women to care well for their own souls as daughters and ambassadors of God.

 

How Older Women Are to Minister to Younger Women: Teach them what is good

Beyond caring for their own souls, however, older women are charged to look after the souls of younger women as well.

Older women, in this passage (v.4), are charged to look after the souls of younger women by teaching them to do what is good. Paul then explains six specific good things the older women are to teach and train.

Train them to love their husbands and children.

Notice a few things here…first, Paul switches words. He moves from “teach” to “train”. There are similarities, but there is also an important difference. To teach is to impart knowledge. To train is to impart knowledge and skill. Older women are called to teach the younger women for sure. But they are also directly called, in this case at least, to train the younger women as well. That is, they are to work with and alongside the young women as they seek to love their husbands and kids in real life.

Older women, the primary charge of this verse if for you to get into the lives of the younger women of Grace in order to model these things for the younger women of Grace. You can’t do these things from a distance. This means inviting them into your homes and being in theirs. That’s the first thing to notice.

The second thing to notice here is that Paul doesn’t give a generic charge to train the younger women to love their families. Instead, he gives two distinct charges, one to train them to love their husbands and another to love their children. In the broadest terms, to love someone is to love someone. That is, to love someone, anyone, is to affectionately pursue that which is best for them. However, as we must note from Paul’s distinction, what’s best for a husband is not necessarily what’s best for children. For instance, Scripture calls women to love their husbands in by showing them respect and children by bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. In other words, what’s best (in one sense) for husbands is respect and what’s best for kids is discipline and instruction. Older women are to teach these truths to the younger women and train them in how to live them out—how to love their husbands as husbands and their children as children.

Train them to be self-controlled.

You might notice that this is the only characteristic mentioned for each gender and age group. Self-control has always been the great challenge of God’s people. In practice, older women are to train younger women to be characterized by controlling their passions rather than having their passions control them.  In other words, older women are to train younger women to be characterized by successfully fighting against their fleshly desires while praying that God would make His glory their one desire.  There are unique issues of self-control that younger women deal with and older women are uniquely qualified to help them with that.

Train them to be pure.

In addition, older women are to teach younger women what is good by training them to be pure. This is simply to say that younger women need help (as we all do) in knowing what holiness looks like and that older women are charged with painting a picture of it (with their teaching and example). There are so many areas of temptation for younger women to abandon purity: worldly, wasteful, trendiness, making an idol out of relationships (with friends or men), putting hope in charm, finding significance in beauty, thinking of modesty as being just a little behind the culture, or missing the importance of living lives of purity altogether. Again, older women, having faced these temptations yourselves, you are charged to train the younger women to fight these things because you’ve tasted and seen that the goodness of God is greater than anything the world has to offer.

Train them to work at home.

In its most basic sense, this means that older women are to train younger women to be diligent homemakers. As Douglas Wilson has written, this is not to say that a woman’s place is the home, but that a woman’s priority is the home. For an older woman to train a younger woman in this includes imparting certain domestic skills, priorities, and attitudes. For all kinds of reasons, this can be especially challenging. Younger women, pray for the humility and priorities necessary to be trained. Older women, pray for the winsomeness and courage necessary to train.  Church, pray for these relationships (first between mother and daughter and then among the rest of the women in the church) to thrive and flourish among God’s people.

Train them to be kind.

Next, Paul calls older women to train younger women to be kind. To be kind in the sense Paul means here is to be good and generous to others; it is to be pleasant and nice. Older women, be this and train the younger women to be this for the glory of God and the good of his people.

Train them to be submissive to their own husbands.

Finally, Paul instructs older women to train younger women to be submissive to their own husbands—not to all men, but to their own husbands. With this command in particular it’s easy to see (and so I want to draw your attention to) the importance of having a careful understanding of God’s good design for women and the boundaries of biblical women’s ministry. Otherwise, for instance, it would be easy to think of this as a culturally dated, or even as demeaning command, rather than the great expression of the gospel that it is. And otherwise, abusive husbands, expecting their own perverted understanding of submission, while sinfully pointing to scripture for justification, might be able to get away with it outside of the authority of the local church.

To be submissive in this sense means (as John Piper has said) that the wife is to take her cues from the Church even as the husband takes his cues from Jesus. That is, because the husband/wife relationship is given primarily to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5), there is an orientation that is to take place in Christian homes whereby the husband serves (in Christ’s image) as the head of his family, providing loving, sacrificial leadership to his home, and the wife serves (in the image of the Church) by willingly and joyfully submitting to that type of Christ-like leadership.

Again, doing battle with the Curse, older women are to train the younger women to do this. In particular, this means that the younger women are to be trained how to do this as a means of projecting the Gospel. In other words, submission for submission’s sake is not the aim; gospel projection is. This requires wisdom and biblical insight and Paul expects older women to have those things and share those things with the next generation.

On a side but related note, let me say this: husbands, we must submit and model submission before we ever call our wives to submit to us. There is nothing more disgusting to God than an unsubmissive man who demands submission from his wife. It perverts the entire scene. It is more like pornography than the beautiful picture it was meant to paint. Men, if you are expecting submission from your wife but you are not joyfully placing yourself (usually as a member) under the authority of the elders in your church, of the government given to you by God, of your boss, and of the people of God, you dishonor Christ and I’m afraid for your wife. Your leadership ought to produce life and joy in your wife. It ought to be easy and natural for her to submit to you because she knows you are after Christ’s glory and her good, not your own selfish gain. Older women, who have undoubtedly experienced sin from their husbands in this area, are to teach the younger women to submit to their own husbands and train them concerning how to do so in real life.

Again, older women are to teach younger women what is good. Specifically, they are to teach and train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands. All of this, of course, is first a charge to older women. That is, older women are to do these things and then teach and train the younger women in them.

Ladies, older women, this is your charge. This is what being a Christian means for you, in part, at this stage of your life. This is what Christian obedience looks like for you. You are not free to script your own golden years. You are given a particular charge, for the glory of God and the good of the Church, to disciple younger women in these ways.

Susan Hunt says, “The empty-nest years are not a time for self-indulgence for redeemed women.” Instead, she offers, it is a time to engage the body of Christ and the lost world with an even clearer biblical mandate and a renewed vigor.

As I’ve talked to the older women in this church about these things, I’ve received a number of responses. Some older women have been eager to engage the younger women (but perhaps without a healthy enough understanding of the boundaries of women’s ministry), others have been scared (perhaps without a healthy enough understanding of the fact that the grace of God will certainly enable them to do all that God requires of them), some have been indifferent (perhaps without a healthy enough understanding of the fact that the grace that saves also sanctifies), and others, of course, can’t wait to be used by God to do this good work.

Older women, wherever you are on this scale, humble yourself and look to Christ. He alone is able to make you sufficient to this task, but as we’ve seen over and over again in this short letter, this too is the gospel in effect. Older women, God is already working this in you and preparing the younger women for it. I admonish you, then, go for it in faith. Rearrange whatever you need to in order to order your lives according to the Word of God.

That the Word of God May Not Be Reviled

Lastly, we see what is at stake in this particular application of women’s ministry. We see what happens when the Church fails to provide a context in which this type of ministry can take place, when husbands fail to pray for and prioritize this type of relationship for their wives, when older women fail to engage in the ministry given to them by God, and when younger women reject the fact that they need training. Do you see it at the very end of v.5? When we fail to do these things the Word of God is reviled.

What does it mean for the word of God to be reviled and how does the behavior and ministry of older women keep it from being so? Simply put, Christianity claims that God’s Spirit enters believers when they first believe. What’s more, the message of Christianity (which is the Word of God) is that the Holy Spirit immediately goes to work on the heart of the Christian causing her to increasingly hate the things of this world and love the things of God. When Christian women (and Christians in general), then, live in rebellion to these (or any of God’s) commands, it makes it look as if God’s Word is not true to the watching world. When the actions of Christian women cause others to doubt the truthfulness of God’s Word, they are causing God’s Word to be reviled.

Rather than do this, Paul writes, Christian women are instead to live in such a way as to demonstrate the truthfulness and transforming power of God’s Word. Older women are to live and train the younger women to live in this way and for this reason.

 

Conclusion

Again, don’t miss the fact that this is one specific way (rather than the way) in which women’s ministry happens inside the protection-providing, freedom-giving, life-enhancing, fruit-producing boundaries given by God for women’s ministry. Over the coming months I look forward to working with many of you (men and women, young and old) in imagining what else might be done at Grace Church to help women grow in Christ as women, and fulfill the uniquely feminine discipleship roles assigned to them by God. If you are interested in being a part of this discussion, please let me know. We’d love to hear your thoughts.

With that, let’s close by marveling at the goodness of God put on display in this, another example of the gospel in effect. Amen.