Colossians 3:12-17 –
12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him
Introduction
What do you do when another Christian sins against you or otherwise makes your life harder? In a lot of ways, that’s the practical heart of the question for the Colossians. They were in a tough spot as a young church that was being inundated with false teachers and conflicts that surrounded them. They wanted to honor Christ, but it was hard to know what that meant as they sifted through all the competing claims. Undoubtedly, tensions ran high at times as they sought to live together in a manner pleasing to the Lord. But, once again, what does it mean to live together in a local church in a manner pleasing to the Lord in times of confusion and difficulty?
In an expression of significant kindness and mercy, God inspired the apostle Paul to write this letter to the Colossian Christians to answer that question. And our passage for this morning is right at the heart of his answer.
In it, we find great help for today as well. For anyone who has been hurt by another follower of Christ, this passage is as much of a gift for us as it was for its original readers. For the answer is the same today as it was 2000 years ago: The main response for Christians in times of conflict is to put on Christ. And this passage goes a long way in explaining what that means in practical terms.
Before I pray, I’d like to offer a few brief reminders from the past few weeks.
First, the gospel is the foundation of everything Paul says in this passage. Christians are Christians because God opened our eyes to the facts that we sinned against Him and were, therefore, dead in our trespasses. Further, Christians are Christians because the good news of Jesus’ sacrificial death and resurrection came to us and we received it in faith. Further still, in placing our faith in Jesus, we are reconciled to God and given new natures that we must learn to live in light of day by day.
Second, one way the Bible talks about what it means to live in this life as a Christian is in terms of the things we need to be continually putting off and putting on. Christians, by nature, must diligently and increasingly put off our old ways of thinking about God, ourselves, and the world around us. We must put off our old misguided ideas, our old sense of being the center of the story, and our old sinful appetites and actions. We must put off sin. And at the same time, we must put on the true things of God. We must put on Christ.
And third, we see in this passage that putting on Christ is like the four legs of a chair. We need to understand and make use of all four legs in times of conflict or we will be tippy at best. If we are to put on Christ, then we need to put on His nature (first leg), we need to put on His attitudes (second leg), we must put on His actions (third leg), and we must know how to put those things on (fourth leg). We considered the first two legs last week. After quickly recapping them, we’ll consider the third one this morning (and the fourth next Sunday).
The big idea of this sermon is that Christians are in Christ and so we must put on Christ, and especially those aspects of Christlikeness that foster unity and peace within the church. The main takeaway is to do exactly as Paul commands, seeking God’s help to clothe ourselves in all that He says as a means of glorifying God and strengthening His church.
Put on Christ in Identity (12a)
To be a Christian is to put on Christ in His nature, attitudes, and actions, and to do those things as He modeled and commanded, in the power He so richly provides, and for the glory of His name.
el and do, if we don’t first believe we are who Paul says we are…if we don’t put on Christ in our identity. That’s the first leg.
Put on Christ in Attitude (12b)
Next, concerning the attitude of Christ we are to put on, we saw that because we are chosen, holy, and loved, we must put on “compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.”
If you think about each of those for a moment, you’ll quickly recognize two things: (1) They are all corporate in nature (we can only do them in relation to others) and (2) They are all related to preventing and recovering from conflict. In other words, we need to put on Christ in every aspect of our lives, but in this passage, Paul is particularly talking about the need to put in Christ in ways that help local churches navigate conflict in God-honoring ways.
Those two legs are where we’ve already been. Now, let’s look to the third leg: Putting on Christ in action.
Put on Christ in Action (13-14)
If you’ll look with me at vs.13-14, you’ll see three specific actions Paul calls us to do…
13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
If we remember who we are in Jesus (chosen, holy, loved) and put on the attitudes of Jesus (compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience), we will also put on the actions of Jesus when there is conflict among us (bearing with, forgiving, and loving one another).
Bearing with One Another (13a)
Last week I asked you to try to think of a time someone hurt you by sinning against you. I’d like to ask you to do that again. I know that no one wants to think about stuff like that, but I also know that we won’t be able to get out of this passage all that Paul means us to if we don’t have real-life in mind. We can’t leave this passage in the theoretical / conceptual / theological realm and receive/respond to it as God intends. There are certainly theoretical / conceptual / theological elements of it, but it is most profoundly practical; which means we all need to have a specific situation in mind so that we can reinterpret it through the lens this passage provides.
So, the last time (maybe presently) someone sinned against you, how did you respond? Or, more to the point, how should you have responded as a follower of Jesus? What would you have done if you were to have put on Christ?
Pastorally, I’ve had the opportunity to talk with many of you through this kind of thing. When other Christians sin against us, I’ve noticed two main tendencies.
Some immediately fight back by responding in kind. If someone sinned against you by speaking in anger, you replied in anger for their audacity to speak to you in anger. If someone sinned against you by breaking a promise, you respond by giving them a piece of your (unsanctified) mind. If someone sinned against you by being critical, you reacted by pointing out how much worse their faults are. Whatever the particular form, when sinned against, one prominent tendency is to fight sin with similar sin.
Most of the rest of the people I’ve met with respond by shrinking back to protect themselves. You retreated. You distanced yourself from the person/situation. Whatever the sin, you did your best to get as far away from it as possible and avoid as much conflict as possible.
There are times, to be sure, when it is right stand up to mistreatment or to remove ourselves from a situation, but Paul tells us that putting on Christ means starting with a different initial impulse altogether.
The key feature (and mistake) of both of the responses I just mentioned is that the emphasis is on the other person, the one sinning against us. But all three of Paul’s prescribed responses focus on ourselves, the one being sinned against. Like almost every other aspect of the Christian life, this one flips ordinary, reasoning on its head.
It’s a call to shift our first impulse from saying something like, “How could you do such a thing to me?” or “Let me explain to you what you did wrong and how to make it right” or “Do you have any idea how much that hurts?”
…to…
Thinking something like, “Before everything else, their sin against me is a sign that their heart is not right with the Lord” and “Thank you God for the reminder that I am to count others as more valuable than myself” and “What an opportunity to make my first response a demonstrate the love of Christ to them”.
So, what practical forms might that take? Once again, Paul names three in our passage and the first is found at the very beginning of v.13. When someone sins against you, put on Christ by bearing with them.
Bearing with one another means sticking together even when it’s hard to do so; even when it’d be easier to just cut off ties; even when the other person doesn’t yet see or care about or repent of their sin. It is a commitment to one another that is greater than our commitment to our own comfort and sense of justice. And all of that because that’s how Christ bears with us and because that’s what God designed the church for.
Bearing with one another like this is a realization that God means us to help one another in our sin, not be His primary earthly instrument of executing justice upon one another. Doing so is a determination to remain together because of our sin, not in spite of it. And doing so is a demonstration that we meant what we said when we covenanted together in membership, promising to willingly lay our lives down to help one another grow in Christlikeness.
This kind of bearing with one another is part of God’s design for our sanctification. We need others to bear with us if we are to grow in Christ and so we need to bear with others so they might.
This kind of bearing with one another also provides the clearest picture of the gospel. Jesus bears with us without exception, not because we deserve it, but because He chose to in love.
I’ve had the privileged of speaking with quite a few new pastors in the past few years. Tragically, one of the most consistent experiences they’ve had is that of significant difficulty for seeking to faithfully shepherd their people. Many have stories of great pain caused by great sins against them.
One time, as a handful of us were gathered, I was directly asked if I’d ever experienced anything like they were going through. Sadly, I’ve experienced things much worse than any they’d yet encountered (as bad as theirs were). I explained that there are certain depths of pain that you can’t experience in new or shorter relationships (as all of theirs were). There is a particular level of hurt that only the sins of those you’ve walked with for many years can cause.
After sharing a bit about that, I was asked the natural follow-up question of how I was able to endure. The simplest answer is that in God’s kindness and strength, I was able to obey this command. I simply bore with the people who hurt me. I tried to assume the best. I worked to trust God’s promise that He had good plans for it. I reminded myself that I don’t see things perfectly. And I did my best to remember that my main duty is to find joy in faithfulness, not circumstances or outcomes; and that God alone is perfectly good and faithful.
To be a Christian is to acknowledge the brokenness of the world (including ourselves) and to voluntarily commit to living alongside other broken people, in their brokenness, in a local church, as a means of God’s sanctifying grace (for ourselves and one another). In that way, bearing with those who sin against us is a feature, not a flaw, of ministry in all local churches. Bearing with those who hurt us is a critical part of our calling and our commission.
Forgiving One Another (13b, c)
That leads to Paul’s next point. More than merely bearing with one another, though, as difficult and countercultural as that can be, Paul tells us that putting on Christ in times of conflict means taking another step still. We find that next step in the middle of v.13.
13 and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other…
Indeed, Paul commands his readers to forgive one another as well as bear with one another. And by that, he meant that we must commit ourselves to refusing to hold the sins of others against them.
But wait a minute, Pastor Dave. You don’t seem to understand. I get that I’m supposed to bear with people who sin against me. I don’t love the idea, and it seems really difficult, but it at least seems somewhat reasonable and possible. But how can I forgive someone when they don’t seem to appreciate what they did or how much pain they caused?
My husband racked up crippling credit card debt because he was gambling online. He’s said he’s sorry, but we’re probably going to lose our house.
My son was arrested for doing drugs. He seems remorseful, but he said he’d stop dozens of times before.
I shared a prayer request in confidence with someone in my DG and they told someone else. She apologized, but she can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
I hired a guy from our church to add an addition onto our house, but he took my money and never finished the job. He said he will, but I don’t know how I could possibly trust him at this point.
Our daughter is going through a divorce and one of the women in our church just keeps talking about how sinful and wrong that is. I know the divorce isn’t God’s design, but she seems to have no compassion or grace at all for us in this really hard situation.
We’re to the point that it seems like all my wife does is complain about me. She’s acknowledged her tendency to having a critical spirit, but that doesn’t stop her criticism.
Grace, we can probably imagine bearing with people who do things like that, but how can we forgive them when the wounds are so raw, the hurt so deep, and the repentance seems so shallow?
Earlier, I said that we can’t leave this passage in the theoretical / conceptual / theological and receive it as God intends. This is what I meant. There’s a big difference between grasping the concept of bearing with and forgiving someone who has sinned against us and actually doing so when they do things like this (and more).
When you are sinned against by others, putting on Christ really means believing you are chosen, holy, and loved by God. It really means being compassionate (instead of condemning), kind (instead of mean), humble (instead of proud), meek (instead of aggressive), and patient (instead of demanding). And it really means bearing with them (instead of counterattacking or distancing yourself) and forgiving them (instead of storing it up in bitterness and hurt).
But how? How are we able to do so? Or maybe even more fundamentally, why would we want to do so?
Paul tells us that we do so by looking to Christ’s example and because of the example of Christ.
Paul wrote, “as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Or, as Paul says it in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Grace, when sinned against, putting on Christ in action means that we are to forgive as (in the same way that) we’ve been forgiven. Our standard is not how we’ve been treated by the sinner, but by the Sinless One. Our application of this says a lot more than our words do about our understanding of the gospel.
How did the Lord forgive you, Christian? Did He require you to fully see all your sins against Him before He forgave you? Did He require you to fully repented of any of them? Did He require you to ask for forgiveness for every sin against Him before forgiving you of all of them? Did He require you to initiate your reconciliation with Him? Did He wait until you deserved it? Is He grumpy toward you while He waits on you to get your stuff fully in order? Is He passive aggressive toward you in your sin? Does He yell? Does He gossip about or slander you? Does He harbor one ounce of bitterness toward you? Does He withhold kindness from you? Does He withhold some measure of forgiveness for anyone who comes to Him in sincere faith?
Or, is He compassionate, kind, gentle, patient, winsome, glad, and gracious toward you? Or, did He set His love upon you and determine to offer Himself up to God as a sacrifice on your behalf while you were still a sinner?
In short, Paul’s message is to look to Christ, turn your heart away from its demands for earthly justice or comfort. Consider Jesus’ willingness to endure the injustice of men and the wrath of God to secure forgiveness for you, not because you deserved it, but because He chose to be gracious and kind even when you didn’t. Consider those things and do likewise to those in the church who sin against you; forgive them as you’ve been forgiven in Christ.
O, what a glorious thing that is to see. What a light-producing, life-giving, church-strengthening, God-honoring, thing it is to see a follower of Christ follow Christ is this most costly, only-because-of-the-gospel and only-in-the power-of-the-Spirit way. May we be ever-more characterized by clothing ourselves in Christ like that. That was Paul’s charge to the Colossian church, even as it’s his charge to Grace Church.
Loving One Another (14)
Well, if that were not enough, Paul ratchets it up one more time. Put on Christ by bearing with those who sin against you, forgiving them, and above all, loving them. Look at v.14.
14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
This is an echo of what Paul wrote to the Corinthian church (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
The question, then, is what exactly does that mean and how exactly does that work. The answer, I believe, is truly remarkable. There are probably two keys to grasp.
First, let’s define love. This kind of love is a sacrificial commitment to getting for someone what’s best for them. It’s a willingness to lay your life down to give to someone what they need most. Sometimes that lines up with what they think they need most and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it makes them feel good and sometimes it doesn’t. But it is always tied to that which is best.
Are you with me on this, Grace? Most of you have heard this idea before. Where many would say that love is gladly giving someone whatever makes them feel good, Christian love is different. It recognizes the fallen nature of mankind and the untrustworthiness of our desires. It allows God’s unchanging Word to define what’s best rather than anything else.
Practically, then, when another Christian sins against you, above all, encompassing everything else you do, look to the Bible to determine what’s best for that person and get it for them, no matter the cost.
Most of the time, loving other Christians like this costs us a bit of comfort, a bit of our pride, a bit of effort, and a bit of our sense of justice and control. Grace, it cost Jesus the wrath of God. It cost Jesus the forsaking of His Father. It cost Jesus His life. But the reward is a rescued people, forgiven, freed, spotless, and holy. What a gift it is to be able to participate in the love of God for the saints. The cross of Christ reminds us that loving those who sin against us is more than worth it every time.
The second key to loving like this is recognizing that everything Paul listed in our passage is what’s best for Christians who sin against us. Don’t miss the profound nature of that statement, Grace. When someone sins against you, you must put on Christ. Putting on Christ means putting on the love of Christ. And putting on the love of Christ means putting on His nature, attitude, and actions.
In that way, the most practically loving thing we can do in response to someone’s sin against us is to remember who we are. Before anything else, loving those who offend us means fighting to believe that God chose us, set us apart, and loves us. If we live out of any other identity, we are withholding what’s best, we are withholding love.
From there, we love by seeking the help of the Spirit of God to adopt an attitude of compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, for God tells us that’s what’s best for them. Where we lack any of those things, we cannot love well.
And so we stop, we pray, and we ask God to check our hearts and help us put off everything earthly that remains in us and put on all that is Christ. Take a break if you need to. Have a quiet time. Listen to a song that fills your head and heart with the truth of God and the beauty of the gospel. Draw to mind specific promises of God to strengthen and bless you. And then go back to the person and offer them the gracious, merciful, transforming love of Christ.
Loving those who sin against us means giving to them the things God requires of us, which are always best.
Do you want to be in a healthy church, Grace; one that honors God, brings life to one another, and is a faithful witness to the world of the truth and transforming power of the gospel? Then love those who sin against you like this in identity, attitude, and action. That’s what’s best.
All of that is what it means to put on Christ and all of that is what Paul means by love “binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Love takes all of those things and arranges them according to what’s best for the person. It is what unites all of those things into a practical plan. It is what most honors God, images the gospel, and brings peace to God’s people.
May we do so in increasing measure as individuals, and even more so as a church.
So, who do you need to bear with, forgive, and love today? Who do you need to encourage to do this today? Who do you need to apologize to for not putting on Christ like this today? And, most importantly, in what relationship do you most need to remember the gospel of Jesus Christ today; His initiative-taking love, His unmerited forgiveness, His unending patience, and His accomplishment of perfect justice?
Conclusion
Christians are in Christ and so we must put on Christ, and especially those aspects of Christlikeness that foster unity and peace within the church. In other words, putting on Christ means remembering who we are in Jesus (chosen, holy, beloved), putting on the attitudes of Jesus (compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience), and putting on the actions of Jesus when there is conflict among us (bearing with, forgiving, and loving one another). Let us be a church that is continually seeking God’s help to clothe ourselves in all that He says as a means of glorifying God and strengthening His church.
The gospel of Jesus Christ is the call and the power for all of this. Thanks be to God!