Colossians 4:2-6 –
2 Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. 3 At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison— 4 that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak.
5 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. 6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
Introduction
When life is hard and confusing, I think it’s safe to say that the tendency for most of us is to take matters into our own hands. We tend to think more about getting or checking out of whatever situation we’re in than anything else. It’s critical, therefore, to recognize Paul’s letter for what it is—his instructions to the Colossian church for a time of hardship and confusion.
Moving from the highest level down to the most practical, Paul’s answer is to remember who Christ is (preeminent over all) and who you are in Christ (new and alive in Him), put on righteousness and put off sin, love your family, and prayerfully share the gospel with the world. The more difficult and confusing your life is, the more critical it is to focus on those four things.
For the past two weeks, we’ve been focusing on the last (and probably the most counterintuitive) one—prayerfully sharing the gospel with the world. Think about that for just a minute. When your kids are misbehaving or you’re feeling particularly lonely or you just lost your job or your marriage is on the rocks or you just got a crushing diagnosis or there’s false teaching in your church, what’s your first impulse? Whatever it is, I’m guessing it’s NOT redoubling your evangelistic efforts and integrity? But that really is what Paul is getting at here.
When life is the trickiest, be steadfast in evangelistic prayer and walk in evangelistic wisdom, Paul wrote. Pray and obey. Last week, from vs.2-4, we considered his charges concerning evangelistic prayer. This week, from vs.5-6, we’ll consider what he says about walking in evangelistic wisdom. One commentator said it like this: Vs.2-4 are about talking to God about outsiders, while vs.5-6 is about talking to outsiders about God.
The big idea is that we honor God when life is hard by continuing steadfast in prayer and walking in wisdom—especially for and among non-Christians. Let us, therefore, pray and obey, Grace.
From the outset, and before I pray, I’d like to say something to any non-Christian guests (outsiders as Paul calls you) who are here this morning. Some of what Paul wrote to the Colossians—some of this sermon—might sound a bit strange. It might sound weird to sit through a sermon directing the members of this church on how they are to interact with you. However, let me encourage you in two ways. I want to encourage you to consider what a remarkable thing it is that God loved you in such a way as to command His people to love you well and to consider what a remarkable thing it is that you came to this church on this day to hear of the shape that divine love is meant to take. I wonder how the love you wish God had for you compares to the reality of His love. If you’re able to truly hear, you’ll see that God’s love is so much greater than you imagined.
Steadfast in Prayer (2-4)
Because it’s impossible to walk in wisdom without God’s help, Paul charged his readers to pray steadfastly, alertly, thankfully, and ultimately evangelistically. And because it’s impossible for us to save anyone, Paul charged his readers to pray for God’s regenerating grace to come through our simple and clear sharing of the mystery of Christ, no matter where we are or what it costs. And because we’re not merely responsible for our immediate neighbors, Paul charged his readers to pray these things for themselves, their church, and for all God’s people around the world.
This is how we pray when life is hard and we are confused, but we know that Christ is preeminent over all of it.
And as we give ourselves to praying like this for those who are not yet trusting Jesus as the Christ, let us also walk in wisdom toward all who are not yet trusting in Jesus as the Christ. But what does that mean?
Walking in Wisdom (5-6)
Christ’s followers must pray … and obey!
Once again, the heart of vs.5-6, is Paul’s charge to the Colossians Christians to obey by living wisely among those outside of the church; and doing so particularly by making the best use of our time with them, speaking graciously to them, seasoning our speech with salt, and learning how to answer them well.
This is how we live when life is hard and we are confused, but we know that Christ is preeminent over all.
Care About How You Live Among Non-Christians (5a)
Look with me at the very beginning of v.5, “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders…”.
The first and main charge from Paul is to walk in wisdom toward outsiders; that is, to care about how we live when we’re around non-Christians. That’s not to say that it’s OK to walk in folly within the church. It’s only to say that there’s a particular kind of wisdom needed when we are around people who do not yet believe that Jesus is King.
Among other things, the particular kind of wisdom we need as we walk toward outsiders means recognizing that everything we do (and don’t do) is communicating something about our view of Jesus and the power of the gospel. Obeying this command, therefore, means being especially careful not to say or do anything that inherently contradicts the gospel.
I remember watching a movie with a non-Christian family as a new believer. It was filled with bad language. Their son, who knew that I was a youth pastor, turned to his mom and asked how I could justify watching that movie. Even as a non-Christian, he was able to recognize the disconnect between the holiness God calls His people to and me watching a movie with so much obscene talk (as Paul calls it in Colossians 3:8).
Obeying this command means that no one should find out later that you are a Christian and reasonably think, “No way! He/she is a Christian?!”.
Obeying this command also means walking toward outsiders. I’ll say more about this in the next point, but the idea is that right at the heart of what it means to be a Christian is to be continually going toward non-Christians for the sake of bringing the gospel to them.
To be clear, walking in wisdom toward outsiders isn’t the same as them seeing the wisdom of our walk. Non-Christians by their very nature lack the central and foundational component of wisdom: The fear of the Lord (Proverbs 9:10). In other words, it’s almost certain that as you walk in true wisdom, it will look like folly to “outsiders”. We’re not indifferent to their reaction (that’s a big part of Paul’s point as well), but wisdom is defined by God alone.
Likewise, walking in wisdom toward outsiders isn’t the same as pretending to be more sanctified than you are. Outsiders are generally pretty good at spotting phony hypocrites.
One more thing on this point…in a very real way, the rest of vs.5-6, the next four points Paul makes, are the defining, practical characteristics of walking in wisdom toward outsiders. Interestingly, you’ll quickly notice (if you haven’t already) that every one of Paul’s qualifying charges, every one of his descriptions of what he meant by “walk in wisdom,” directly or indirectly concerns our speech, not our action. Evangelistic wisdom is concerned with how we talk even more than how we act.
Making the Best Use of the Time (5b)
The second clause in v.5, and Paul’s first explanation of what he meant by “walk in wisdom toward outsiders,” is this:
5 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.
I think this mainly means two things. First, he means that walking among outsiders for the purpose of evangelism is a wise use of time. And second, he means that we need to use whatever time we have with outsiders for intentional, evangelistic purposes.
It is a wise use of time. Let that settle in a bit, Grace. It is a wise use of your time to intentionally, evangelistically spend time with “outsiders”. It is right to prioritize evangelism and evangelistic relationships. Another way to say this is that it is good to find specific, consistent, purposeful ways to love your neighbors who do not go to church; to build it into and protect it in your schedule. And it is foolish not to!
On this point, from my pastoral experience, this room is divided between those whose lives are largely insulated from non-Christians (those who have no meaningful friendships or relationships with people who are not Christians) and those who have plenty of non-Christian friends but are functionally indifferent to their enmity with God (those who are just friends with outsiders because of a common affection for certain worldly things).
Very few people that I’ve met make the best use of the time in this sense—intentionally forging meaningful friendships with outsiders for the sake of loving them well. But this is just what Paul commends to his readers.
For Gerri and I, historically, it’s meant taking classes that we wouldn’t otherwise have taken, hosting our kids’ teams, initiating conversations and friendships with the parents of our kids’ teammates, hosting National Night Outs, going to neighborhood gatherings that we wouldn’t otherwise have attended, making enough syrup to hand out freely to our neighbors, inviting the neighborhood kids and parents to neighborhood VBSs, and pursuing TFG moms. We’re far from perfect, but we’ve been consistently intentional throughout our marriage. I think a lot of that was trained into us by our campus ministry in college.
For many of us it simply means not packing our schedule so tightly that we don’t have time to visit our neighbors.
It is a wise use of time for Christians to walk toward and with “outsiders.”
It is wise to use our time with our neighbors for the gospel. The aim, of course, is not merely spending time with and around outsiders. The aim is not merely to enjoy friendships with outsiders. The aim is to love outsiders well. And right at the heart of loving well is giving them what they need most, which is Christ. In other words, walking in wisdom toward outsiders means making the best use of the time we have with them, which means using that time to share the gospel with them.
For Paul it meant giving the vast majority of his life in Christ to going everywhere the gospel wasn’t. He traveled thousands of miles in application of this wisdom. Everywhere he went, he preached Christ. Everywhere he went, he looked for gospel-bridges.
Probably my favorite example is found in Acts 17. Paul was walking around Athens and noticed an alter “to an unknown God.” To those present he said, “What … you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you” (Acts 17:23).
Paul persisted in this for years, even, as we saw last week, to the point that he was imprisoned for it, several times. And then he preached Christ in prison and wrote letters to different churches urging them to preach Christ while he was in prison (Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon).
It takes wisdom to know when to share, how to share, what to share, and how hard to press. It takes wisdom to know how long to wait or how fast to go. It takes wisdom to know how to share the gospel in ways that will make the most sense to the person we’re sharing with. And it takes extra love to want to do any of those things in the face of any opposition. But it is always wise and loving to have the gospel as the heartbeat of our every relationship on earth. Even as it is always unwise and unloving to build any relationship on something other than the gospel.
Last month, Pat shared about evangelism in Masculine Mandate. If you need help getting started, talk to him. I’m not sure I know anyone who is a more natural evangelist than him.
It is a wise use of our time with outsiders to prioritize time with them and to share the gospel with them when we are.
Speak Graciously (6a)
Paul’s next clarifying clause is found at the beginning of v.6.
6 Let your speech always be gracious…
This also has two main components to it. Our speech toward outsiders must be gracious on both a human and divine level. That is, we must speak graciously (kindly, winsomely) and with words of grace (words of gospel life, as we just saw).
Regarding the first sense, it is wise to speak toward outsiders with charity, clarity, kindness, winsomeness, and helpfulness. Positively, this means doing our best to take the initiative in introducing ourselves, looking for what’s commendable in them as divine image bearers, taking an interest in them, not using Christian jargon, and looking for points of commonality as a bridge for the gospel. Negatively, it means speaking to outsiders in ways that are not unnecessarily provocative, confusing, or combative.
When we talk to non-Christians, it ought to be our aim for them to leave the conversation feeling heard, respected, and cared for; not beaten up, attacked, and dismissed, even if they end up completely disagreeing with us.
I remember my first grad class well. After a lecture on the teaching of a Christian philosopher, I was eager to hear what my non-Christian classmates thought of it. I was eager for a gospel conversation to spring out of it. When I asked what they thought, the first classmate to chime in said something to the effect of, “That’s interesting, but I can’t believe any rational person would believe it.” I had a few choices to make at that point, but all of them needed to have this charge (“let your speech always be gracious”) undergirding them.
I remember a conversation I had at the farmer’s market well. In speaking with a man about Christ, he kept misunderstanding me and getting angry over his misinterpretations. At one point I mentioned how unthoughtful I’d been in the past and he thought I was accusing him of being unthoughtful then. He went on the attack. I had a few choices to make at that point, but all of them needed to have this charge (“let your speech always be gracious”) undergirding them.
Romans 12:18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
When we combine the two senses—graciously and words of grace—there’s a bit more to consider.
When I was in college, there was a man who was known as the “Wells Hall Preacher”. He spent a lot of time on campus preaching his understanding of the gospel. He got some of it right for sure, but his preaching (and the sign he wore) was filled with unnecessarily offensive language. It’s inherently offensive to call sin, sin. It’s inherently offensive to call all people sinners. It’s inherently offensive to declare that all sinners are under God’s wrath and deserve hell. To preach the gospel is to preach offensively, but that’s different than preaching in a way that’s offensive.
On the other end of the spectrum, one time a man came up to John MacArthur and asked if he minded being so offensive to so many people. MacArthur’s response was that he hoped to never offend a single person with his attitude, actions, or words. He wanted to be universally kind and gracious and winsome. But at the same time, he said he wanted to never shy away from the inherent offense of the gospel. This is that.
It is wise to walk toward outsiders with the gospel of Jesus Christ, but when we do, we must do so with words that are gracious.
Speak Saltily (6b)
The next clause within v.6 concerns the flavor of our speech.
6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt…
Of all the various clauses in these few verses, the precise meaning of this one is the least clear. The idea of Christians being salty or speaking saltily is found two other times in the NT, but it’s meaning both times is varied and equally imprecise. The basic idea, however, seems clear enough: Among non-Christians, Christians ought to be distinct, in a good way, in conduct, attitude, and speech, from everyone else. There ought to be a noticeable difference in the way those with the Holy Spirit of God in us are from those without the Spirit.
We genuinely care about others. We believe them to have inherent dignity and worth. We think and talk about things that matter. There’s a lack of gossip, slander, and sensationalism. We don’t concern ourselves with the appearance of others. We aren’t people-pleasers or eye-servers. There’s a depth to us. There’s a seriousness to us. We aim to serve and not be served. We see things from above the sun and not merely below. There’s a different kind of love, joy, peace, and hope in us. There is a lack of man-fearing that allows us to speak the truth in love even when it’s not reciprocated. In other words, all that we are ought to be seasoned with salt—it ought to stand out, especially among those who do not have the words and hope of eternal life.
When we are around non-Christians, even if they can’t quite explain it, they ought to experience our saltiness. Gerri and I just had the chance to put this into practice. We were asked by Anna’s coach to write a note to the team to encourage them before their conference race. I wanted it to be salty. Here’s what I wrote:
“When I was in your shoes—back in the mid 90s—I learned an invaluable lesson. I ran much faster and freer and happier when I came to realize that running and competing and racing is what I did, not who I was. I am (and you are) a child of God, made in His image. That didn’t change if I crushed a workout or had to pull up early. It didn’t change if I made the travel squad or stayed home. It didn’t change if I finished first or last. It didn’t change if I was healthy or injured. It didn’t change if the team dynamics were encouraging or draining. And, most importantly, it didn’t change if I never ran again.”
“As you move into championship season, then, my encouragement is simple: Make sure you know who you are and that it’s not tied to how you perform. That will free you up to be who you are more fully and do what you do more freely. Go get ’em girls. Roll Toms!”
That’s certainly not going to go down as the most poetic paragraph of all time or the clearest gospel explanation, but I wanted it to be salty, especially alongside what I imagined to be a pile of under the sun letters. My prayer is that it would have been distinct, that it would have stood out, and that it would have helped them to consider their inescapable design and responsibility to their Maker.
Learn How to Answer Well (6c)
Finally, look with me at the end of v.6 to see one more way Paul commends us to walk wisely toward outsiders.
6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
I think Peter captures much of what Paul had in mind—especially this final clause—particularly well.
1 Peter 3:13-16 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.
Practically, this means a few things.
First, it means always being alert in our mind as well as in our prayers. That is, applying Paul’s charge well means being continually conscious of the possibility that you’ll be asked about your faith in Christ. It’s somewhat like what my military friends tell me about being on patrol. You have to be continually aware of your surroundings. You can’t anticipate everything that might happen, but you can’t be surprised by anything if you’re to respond well.
Perhaps someone will simply ask what it means to be a Christian. But perhaps they’ll insult you and mock your faith in front of others. Neither should catch you off guard. We must be prepared to “answer” them well in either case or we’ll miss an opportunity to show the power and love of Christ in us.
Whatever the response of an outsider, to obey Paul’s charge means doing everything we can to not be caught off guard by it and as prepared as possible to give a God-honoring response (in both our demeanor and words).
A second aspect of applying this well means listening well. How can you possibly know how to answer someone if you didn’t listen well enough to understand their actual question/concern/frustration? If you’re in panic mode or defense mode or offended mode or presumption mode, you’re going to talk more than listen. But if you’re in loving, serving mode, you’re going to listen more than talk.
You might have noticed that Jesus was asked a number of times, in a number of different ways, how people could be right with God. If you noticed that, you probably also noticed that He gave a different answer every time. The reason for this is that Jesus understood their hearts and the specific part of the gospel their hearts were rejecting. For instance, to the proud, He focused on the holiness of God and their failure to perfectly keep the law. But for the broken, the crushed, and the unworthy, He focused on the all-sufficient grace of God. We ought to imitate Jesus well in that by listening well before speaking.
In a similar way, at a DG conference a while back, one of the speakers, a man who’d planted several thriving churches in the Middle East, was asked a simple question: “If you had an hour to share the gospel with the most militant Muslim around, what would you say?” His reply is still resonating with me over a decade later, “I’d ask question and listen for 50 minutes so I’d know what to say in the last 10.”
Third, finally, and most directly, having made the best use of our time, having spoken graciously and saltily, knowing how we “ought to answer each person” means thinking carefully through the different kinds of responses that are common to the people we typically encounter and doing our best to learn what a wise answer would be. That doesn’t mean that everyone in here needs to be an expert in apologetics, but it does mean that we all need to be thoughtful.
Think back to the two hypothetical responses I mentioned earlier (someone asking what it means to be a Christian and someone insulting your for being one). In the former, we ought to be able to give a warm, simple explanation of the gospel, taking them down the “Romans Road,” perhaps. In the latter, we can’t be personally offended. We must remain calm. It is good to acknowledge that many have felt the same way about the gospel, that it can be confusing and frustrating. It is also good to ask them which part(s) they find especially offensive and then doing your best to give a biblical answer.
How can a good God allow so much evil? Why have I experienced so much pain? Where was God when my husband cheated on me or my kids walked away? Christianity is for the weak minded. How can you believe such fairy tales when there’s so much evidence against it? Most of the bad things in the world have been done in the name of God. If God is so real and powerful and glorious, why can’t I see Him? Why doesn’t He just reveal Himself to me? Don’t all religions lead to the same basic place? My life is fine. Why would I need God? I’m sure one day I’ll need religion.
Paul tells us that we need to be thoughtful about these kinds of things. But we also need to work together. You might not have a specific answer to some specific scientific objection someone has to the gospel, but there certainly is someone at Grace who does. Saying, “That’s a great question. I don’t know the answer, but I know someone who probably does” is just as honoring to God as knowing the answer yourself.
Conclusion
Pray and obey—evangelistically.
Walk wisely toward outsiders. Make the most of your time with them. And when you’re with an outsider, speak graciously, saltily, and helpfully. And all of that, especially when life is especially hard.
Why? Why especially when life is especially hard? In shortest, simplest terms, what we need most when we’re anxious or confused or discouraged, is a reminder that God is sovereign, wise, and good, that He is with us and for us. From where does that kind of reminder come and how do we get it to sink into our hearts?
One very real and very consistent answer—one specific means of Grace—is turning our eyes off of ourselves and onto the gospel. And one very real and consistent way to do both is to intentionally and prayerfully share the gospel with someone else. Insodoing, we rehearse the gospel, gain perspective, feel the presence of God, and know that God is as in charge of us as He is of the response of the person I’m sharing with. For me, that’s the effect 100% of the time. It is the most consistent means of grace in my life. I urge you to pursue that grace as well.
That brings us to another significant means of God’s grace, the Lord’s Table.